CRITIQUE: Star Brings Out "Stars Without Make-up" Issue

Did Candace Leave Her Checkbook at Home This Week?

Breaking News:  We interrupt this critique to bring you a taped transcript from this week’s Monday morning cover meeting at Star Magazine.*

Picture it.  Inside one of the world’s most-respected, journalistic news organizations Star’s newsroom, the eager, excited burnt-out staff consists of veterans recruited from reputable celebrity weekly staffs across the country or within a 20 mile radius.

Veteran news reporter:  Where’s Candace?  Has anyone seen her?  Did she get back from Boca???

Other newsperson: I think she’s on her way.

Veteran news reporter:  OMG.  I have a huge exclusive but I need Candace’s checkbook. It’s about Brad and Jen and how they had a “top secret meeting” you know, one of those meetings that can’t be proved or disproved.  I met with my Pitt source and it’s like, totally real.   I don’t know when or where it happened, but it definitely happened.  I even have a friend of a friend of a friend of my sister’s friend telling her friend that Jen said “It’s so good to see you.”

Junior news editor:  Is it just me or is veteran news reporter telling the truth?

Candace enters the room and calls order to the meeting, which is turning into complete chaos.

Candace:  OK, what do we have from news?

Veteran news reporter provides a recap of his Jen and Brad tale and Candace quickly rejects it, since they already have a “Jen & Owen” beach romp story.  (See top right inset!)

Junior news editor: Phew.  I’ve worked with veteran news reporter before.  He pitches that same bullshit story everywhere.

Candace: Come on, we must have something!   I have my checkbook and I have lots of MONEY for a big story

Realizing that a winning Star cover is hopeless, even with money, Candace turns to one of Bonnie’s Star’s oldest tricks in the book – “Stars Without Make-up!”   Is it me or do the stars actually look pretty good with or without make-up???

*Please note, the above transcript was totally, like totally, fictional.