US WEEKLY FOLLOWS MY ADVICE AND FEATURES SUPER-SLIM MARIAH CAREY!

Dear Janice,

Sometimes I feel like we have this connection!

No, I swear!

Late Monday night I was thinking about my predictions for the week, and knew you needed some help.

So, I posted this prediction, which said one of the weeklies should go for Mariah’s weight loss. 

And you took my advice!

Why?

The timing is perfect (plus you did have an interview with her in the can)!

She’s been on Oprah, American Idol — basically everywhere looking AMAZING.

Back to this cover!

Great after picture coupled with an incredible before picture showing a slightly flabby Mariah Carey. (I love her either way!)

The line “How I Lost 20lbs” is basic – but it doesn’t matter.  This cover will sell through the roof – even though the insets of this week’s cover SUCK!

Ashlee could be pregnant, engaged, getting plastic surgery and voted President of the United States.  Nobody cares!

And Heidi Klum makes a RARE appearance on the cover of US Weekly.  (Looks like someone was promised something to show up at Us Weekly’s event???)

Bottom Line: Big winner for Us Weekly and Janice has no reason to be rattled this week.  I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT NO OTHER CELEBRITY WEEKLY WENT FOR THIS AS A COVER STORY!  What Boneheads!