OK SCORES TORI SPELLING BABY PICTURES

Dear Tori,

I want to congratulate you on your second birth.

I’m so happy for you and your husband (what’s his name again?)

Your baby looks like a doll – yes – literally looks like a doll.

How old is your baby in that picture? Is it even a week old?

Well, anyhow, you scored big time. You must have been payed about 300K for these pictures.

Sure, you’re not Angelina Jolie so you won’t get 15 mil but 300K or so isn’t bad.

What’s next for you?

Let me guess. You will – SHOCK – lose the baby weight thanks to a weight-loss program and become the spokesperson.

I can’t wait to see your slim-down pics. Those will probably fetch you about 150K but the endorsement deal will add a ton of extra dough in your pockets as well.

Tori – at least your predictable. But let me warn you about something. If you want this money-making scheme to continue, you better lose the weight FAST and get pregnant even FASTER this time.

Why?

The celebrity weekly space is not doing so well this year. And, sooner rather than later, the money will dry up. And celebrities like yourself will not continue to get these type of paydays to appear on the covers.

So get moving. Something tells me you already have.

xoxo

Mark

P.S. I loved you on 90210.

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InTouch: Beach Body Cover

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