Jon Gosselin Hates Kate. We Should Be Surprised?

This isn’t going to be the most shocking thing you read all morning, but Jon Gosselin is now making the talk show circuit playing the victim. He told Good Morning America’s Chris Cuomo that he “doesn’t trust” Kate and can’t even sit next to her on the same couch anymore.

“I despise [her] because she’s not speaking from the heart…Please — the stuff you tell me in private should be the stuff you tell me on TV,” he said.

He thinks she had an affair with the bodyguard, stole his wedding ring, and wants to sour his good name (HA!) by appearing on magazine covers under garish headlines bashing him.

Oh, and he says 22-year-old Hailey Glassman is his “soul mate.”

We are thrilled he’s found love. Can we now please move on? Please?

Let’s chalk up the Gosselins as nothing more than a dysfunctional summer fling that can end once Labor Day passes. Let’s shelve them like we do our white sandals.

Do we really want to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas with more Gosselin drama?

The short answer: NO. The long answer: HELL NO.