Meet The Parents: Madonna And Jesus Luz Edition

Buy stock in ‘fertility treatments’ — Madonna and Jesus want to reproduce!

The Sun (we know, we know) reported today that Madonna and Jesus want to do the sacrilegious — PROCREATE!

Madonna is 51 and Jesus is 22. While he may be as virile as a string of frat houses, it’s going to take some clever acrobatics to get her Madgesty knocked up.  A close friend of Madonna’s, who calls her “Em“, told The Sun:

“She knows that, at 51, it’s going to be harder to conceive naturally. But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge…He adores her kids but has always wanted a child of his own. He told Em fatherhood would be his greatest adventure, and that he wanted to go on this journey with her.”

“Journey”  and “challenge” are appropriate words.

Written by: Melissa Noble