Sarah Silverman Page Six Magazine

Jimmy Kimmel never told Sarah Silverman she was pretty. That bastard.

Sarah Silverman sat down with Page Six magazine to express how happy she is with new boyfriend Alec Sulkin. All the while, she was sure to serve up some backhanded insults to ex Jimmy Kimmel. Eh, who can blame her? We’ve all been there.

Let’s take a look:

On how Jimmy Kimmel is a chubby, baby in comparison to her new slim Adonis:

“He’s really skinny. Usually I like pudgy, macho-ish guys. But I think I mistook macho-ish for strong, emotionally. And I think it’s really the opposite.”

Jimmy Kimmel never said anything nice:

[Alec Sulkin] is “the first guy in a decade who’s given me any kind of compliment, like saying I’m pretty or anything.”

Oh, and she’s Team Conan:

“Conan was my first big break,” Silverman says. “He put me on all the time. I played on the Conan soccer team. I have a place in my heart so special for him.”

And team marijuana, too:

“I went to the doctor and was honest. I said, ‘When I’m working and I have to get to sleep for the next day, I’d rather smoke a little bit of Indica than take a sleeping pill. Also when I have menstrual cramps, that makes it go away.”

The issue hits newsstands Thursday.

~Melissa Noble