Mark Pasetsky's Cover Awards

And, yes, this is another contribution from our French correspondent Vincent Garmain.

I preface this post by saying that I don’t speak a lick of French (which I should have mentioned earlier) - and yes it’s my fault if Vincent is totally f&*k*n with me on the translations.

The cover of Oops! Magazine says stars are “ready to die to lose weight. The forbidden diets of the stars.” I WANT A FULL TRANSLATION!!!

And apparently, Brad & Angelina’s neighbors in France are fed up - probably ’cause of all those paps..

Plus, we get to see some summer weddings, e.g. Nicole & Joel.

On another front, I like the fun layout of the cover. It feels fresh compared to the boxy feel of the covers in the United States’ celebrity weekly market.

Your thoughts?

WHERE’S THE LOVE LIFE & STYLE?

Pasetsky’s Cover Critique

This is a very, very strange cover from Life & Style.

I read the main line “Angelina’s $20 Million Twins” and it feels cold. There’s no emotion.

The design is a DISASTER.

With a beautiful picture of Angelina with the biggest celebrity baby bump ever, what does Life & Style decide to do?

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 CENTURY, OKAY, THE WEEKEND!

Yea!  Ashlee & Pete tied the knot this weekend!   Ashlee wore an ivory lace wedding gown by Monique Lhuillier and jewels by William Noble.

Where did they do it?  Who showed up?

At Papa Joe Simpson’s house!  He even performed the ceremony! Now that saves you some dough!

Who showed up?

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Pasetsky’s Cover Critique

In the middle of all the chaos of Bonnie Fuller resigning from American Media, Candace Trunzo managed to publish the latest issue of Star Magazine.

With all the distractions, it looks like this week was a…

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Earlier this week, I mentioned how disturbed I was that  Life & Style included the inset “Nicole…tells how she lost the weight.”

Why?  This is a woman who has battled weight issues for years and would the reader want to take weigh-loss advice from someone like her?

Anyhow, I have to admit I was curious so I thumbed through the magazine to find out the answer.

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Or at Least Outside Their Home!

The hottest new trend in the celebrity weekly category is doing an “At Home” that really isn’t what an ”At Home” used to be.

In the old days, you would see glamorous pictures of the star’s homes as well as intimate interviews with the stars.

But today an “At Home” is basically an update of the star’s life — but that wouldn’t be nearly as compelling as a cover line.

Let’s be honest though!  All of those old fashioned “At Homes” are totally boring and the stars never reveal anything anyway!  So, if a celebrity weekly can get juicy tidbits on what’s happening in the lives of the stars, what’s wrong with that?

However, by the look of this cover, it doesn’t look like Life & Style is going to reveal any “details” on their lives “At Home!”  

You can tell by the dek, which screams “Plus! Exclusive Wedding Photos!”  Don’t be fooled.  These are photos of their friends wedding - not their own wedding!

And Nicole tells Life & Style how she lost the weight!  Is this a star that the reader wants to get weight loss tips from?  I don’t think so!

Overall the layout of this cover is a bit strange.  By placing Joel behind the logo and Nicole in front of the logo, I don’t believe this is really a picture of them standing next to each other.

Plus, the sultry picture of Audrina features the compelling cover line “Why Audrina posed naked.”  But again on the design front, the upc symbol is covering her vajajay!  How weird!  Also, did you notice that this week’s In Touchfeatures an inset of Audrina as well.

Bottom Line:  It’ll be a tough week for Life & Style!  In Touch and Star both came out swinging with stronger covers!