Yesterday Blog Land was buzzing with rumors that Jessica Simpson’s Just Can’t Quit Ya main man, John Mayer, was secretly sleeping with Laguna Beach and Hills “actress” Kristin Cavallari.

People really need to stop including John Mayer into their Blind Item guesses. Really. Don’t encourage him. All John needs is a whisper for him respond on the mighty Twitter.

John’s very mature rebuttals below:

Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman…I have never high-fived Kristin Cavallari with my penis.”

– “I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.”

– “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”

– “I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.”

So. Are Jessica Simpson and John Mayer rekindling their on again/ off again love affair?

“Absolutely not” says Mayer’s close friend, Rob Dyrdek.

Wow. Well tell us how you really feel!

Although Drydek “wouldn’t rule out a reunion” he severly doubts the two will share anything more than the text messages that supposedly broke up Jessica and Tony.

John Mayer, who played an instrumental version of Michael Jackson’s “Human Nature,” was humbled when asked to perform at the memorial yesterday.

“It took me about 48 hours to sort of strike the balance in how I was going to approach being invited to this unbelievable event…Michael Jackson wasn’t super human. He was extra human…I think by the end of it — the best service of all was the service done to Michael Jackson to sort of render him finally as being a human being.”

John Mayer just completed his solo guitar performance for Michael Jackson. A brief clip is above.

Prior to his performance, Mayer said via Twitter:

“I also want you to know that I’m going not to “perform” but to contribute… Proud to be a musician.”